Updated 25 May, 2013, 6:56 pm IST
If there's one thing worse than Indian smartphone manufacturers, it's the ad executives hired by them to market the recycled Chinese handsets. Even the upper-crust brands aren't safe, as evidenced by the insipid Lumia commerical. The saying goes: if you pay peanuts, you'll only get monkeys – a fact that's aptly illustrated by most of the atrociously bad commercials inflicted upon TV viewers by budget cellphone makers. We wouldn’t mind if they were just plain bad, but these advertisements take their wtf**kery to Lovecraftian levels. The shades of crazy range from cellphone-induced condom advocacy in one advert to another one where Virat Kohli plays a typical Dilli ka launda who tries everything but chloroform on the southern siren. In hindsight, that would be unlike the typical Dilli ka launda, but we get ahead of ourselves.
Well, alright. We understand that “trendifying” (or rather fetishising) an everyday action is your idea of a marketing campaign, and going social your USP, but what in the name of god did hand-kissing have to do with a mobile phone? You do know that the K-word is the only word in India currently that induces rage more than the R-word. Read: Rape...or Religion, which, as our atheist friends believe, is the rape of common sense anyway. Sadly, the Khap Panchayats are too busy lynching people willy-nilly to finally do something productive for a change and put an end to such ads. We’re pretty sure this ad, replete with its smoochy sounds, can make the most hardened of criminals confess to crimes they haven’t even committed, when played in an infinite loop.
Now, we’re all for safe sex, but there is no way that owning a Lava phone can turn you into an alpha male who’s stumbled right out of a porno. The only brand that actually got any mileage out of this advertisement was probably Durex. Let’s observe two minutes of silence for all the men who bought an A10 with the hope of getting a free condom. The least Lava should do is throw in a box of tissues.
Thereafter, he spends the night playing games with her, followed by sending an MMS with flowers thanking her for the one-night-stand (also much like Chris Brown). We would have called him stingy, if he weren’t unemployed. However, just before we feel sorry for his unemployment, he pisses us off by replying to every question asked with a “Can(vas)”, except when the token black chick asks for his phone. He replies with a “nah”. Oh well, in his defence, he is unemployed after all.
All we get from this ad is that if you own this phone, you can walk out on a one night stand without having to say goodbye. However, this only works if you’re a firang with the vocabulary that’s restricted to only two words: “can” and “nah”. It looks like using smartphones as a replacement for corny pick-up lines seems to be the go-to argument for ad execs these days.
We must mention that the disturbing rictus she has on her face sure look like she’s seen a mobile phone for the very first time in her life. Strangely, the phone doesn’t figure in the advertisement save for the last few seconds or so. But hey, who needs to see how the product looks like when you have a half-naked Kapoor preening around? Did I say half-naked? Well, unfortunately, she’s disappointingly overdressed for someone who's been hired for her eye candy quotient.
The Celkon advertisement has to be the worst one in our list by a huge margin. Cheesy and deluded, this commercial is targeted at all young guys who think throwing money cheap smartphones at bimbos will get them laid. What they will get, however, is a sound public thrashing instead. At any rate we all know that the Celkon phone you buy in the hope of wooing a Tamanna will invariably end up being used to watch MMS clips.
Tags: Funny smartphone ads , Smartphones , Mobile Phones , Budget Smartphones , Cheap Smartphones , Funny mobile ads , Funny Indian mobile ads , Funny ads , Lava , Celkon , iBall , Nokia , Nokia Lumia , Lumia , Micromax , Kareena Kapoor , Virat Kohli , Tamanna , Saif Ali Khan , Bollywood , Lava A10 , Micromax A110 Canvas 2 , iBall Andi , Nokia Lumia 510 , Lux , Durex , Khap Panchayat
25 May, 2013, 06:56 PM
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